I will officially go on the record and say that I love the Nationals, but I despise listening to F.P. Santangelo while watching the game. Convinced myself that F.P. stands for fucking pussy. I get that he's a former major leaguer and can provide some insight in that regard, but the dude was mediocre at best. His best stat line as a player was probably in 1996 when he batted .277, hit 5 HRs and had 56 RBIs in 152 games. Nothing to brag about. But when he broadcasts he does two things that just really steam my dumplings.
1. I feel like he think's he's the kid that doesn't study for the test, gets an A and brags about it. You can just feel the arrogance sometimes when he's broadcasting, the "I've been there before" attitude, like it provides any additional value or credibility to what he's saying. Maybe if you had a decent career I would value your major league insight, but until you can flash back to the late 1990s and hit the roids harder than you did, don't see it happening.
2. I feel at other times, he's the Dane Cook of commentary. I also hate Dane Cook, he was never really that funny, he just says his punchlines in three different tones of voice, and that got a huge stir. He basically told a story and over simplified it for us. That's what I feel like F.P. does also. Not to mention his insufferable catch phrases:
-"Tater"
-"Knock"
-"'ts good stuff!/I love it!"
-"raking it"
-"plays the game the right way"
-"center-cut"
-"features" (for the types of pitches a pitcher THROWS)
-"offer" (commonly referred to as "swing" or check swing)
- pronouncing any word that begins with "str" as "shtr"
There's nothing original there. If you're going to give me vanilla ice cream, it better be the best vanilla ice cream i've ever had, and he is not. He sucks. Period. As annoying as I think F.P. Santangelo is, I think I finally discovered something that I like about him.
Meet Michelle McLaughlin aka Ms. F.P. Santangelo:
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